The first 10 years of starting my career were a very interesting phase of my life. During that period, I started my career, built a small family, and learned many things.
I learned how to be a husband and a father at home. I learned how to be an engineer and a leader at the workplace. During that period, with a small salary, I also learned how to manage my finances for myself and my family.
How did I learn?
I learned by making mistakes. Not by committing wrongdoings.
What is the difference?
A mistake is something we do without realizing it, while a wrongdoing is something we do consciously—and keep repeating it.
One of the things I enjoyed most at work was communicating with my bosses and the management team.
Whenever visitors from the top management came to visit the mill, I would always be excited. They were the old hands—people with many years of experience in the company and in the industry.
Meeting them in the field or at the mill was something I always looked forward to. Especially when the person was someone who was feared or highly respected within the company.
As usual, as a palm oil mill manager, I would personally welcome every visitor who came to the mill, especially those travelling deep into the interior.
During the two- to three-hour journey, I had plenty of time to understand my bosses better.
I would ask them all kinds of questions to understand their character more closely.
Every word they said, every answer they gave, was like cement being poured into my mind—something that I would keep as a guide throughout my life.
From those conversations, I also started to understand the direction of my bosses and what the company really wanted.
There is no denying that sometimes the questions I asked came back to me. And, of course, that became another lesson for me to carry into the next conversation.
Before I became a manager, when I was still an engineering cadet, some of my bosses would respond to our arguments with a final statement:
“Hey, listen to me. I have been working for more than 20 years!”
That sentence was actually a signal for us to stop talking and simply follow their direction.
At that time, being just a young man who had only recently started working, all I could do was remain silent.
I also remember some of them saying:
“Hey, please slow down your horse. Let me explain to you…”
Because of our youthful enthusiasm and young blood, we sometimes talked endlessly. The older and more experienced people, who patiently listened to our arguments, would use those words to respond to the questions we raised.
Now, I have been working for almost 22 years.
And after decades of thinking about those “final statements” from my bosses, I find myself remembering their words again.
I actually miss those moments—the atmosphere where we could sit down and have casual conversations with our bosses.
Sometimes, without us realizing it, those simple conversations would shape our character and become lessons that stayed with us for the next few decades of our lives.
Were their words a reflection of an autocratic leadership style, ego, or sarcasm?
After 22 years, I have actually started to understand the reasons behind those words.
But I have chosen not to use the same argument myself.
That is my story today.
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