"Let's build a small family."
Those were the simple yet meaningful words my wife shared as we began our married life on a palm oil estate deep in the interior of Sabah, along the lower Kinabatangan River, about 90 kilometers from Lahad Datu.
When people speak about my career and whatever success I have achieved, the story would be incomplete without mentioning my wife. She has always been the pillar of our little family.
We first met while serving in the Reserve Officers' Training Unit (ROTU) at the Engineering Campus of Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM). She was pursuing a Bachelor's Degree in Aerospace Engineering and was my junior by two years in ROTU. After several years of getting to know each other and our respective families, we decided to get engaged and eventually married, about a year after I had begun my career in the palm oil industry.
From the very beginning, we were serious about building a family together. Although neither of us had an established career then, and despite our families being separated by the South China Sea, our commitment never wavered. Alhamdulillah, both families gave us their full support.
Above all, my wife has made countless sacrifices since the day we were married. When I chose to build my career in the palm oil industry, she willingly followed me into the remote estates as a full-time homemaker. She set aside her own career opportunities and willingly sacrificed the professional future of an engineering graduate to help us build our small family.
Today, many young people hesitate to get married because of financial uncertainty. Imagine what was going through my mind back then. I was about to marry a Sabahan woman and take responsibility for someone's beloved daughter with a monthly take-home salary of less than RM1,600.
Yet we held firmly to one belief: Allah always opens a way for those who strive sincerely. So we started our family with whatever we had.
The sacrifices my wife has made are too many to list, but a few memories remain deeply engraved in my heart.
When she was eight months pregnant with our first child, I arranged for her to return to her parents' home in Tuaran, Sabah, to give birth. On our journey, the minibus we were travelling in suffered three flat tyres before we finally had to transfer to another bus just to reach Lahad Datu. That same night, we boarded an express bus bound for Tuaran.
I spent the entire day reflecting on our difficult situation. At that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would work harder, stay focused, and never allow my family to endure such hardship again.
Through it all, my wife never complained.
During my fifteen years working in the palm oil estates, we moved from one house to another, from one estate to another, and from one school to another as our children grew up. We moved from Sabah to Sarawak and eventually back to Sabah.
Whenever emergencies arose, she would take our children to the hospital by herself because I was often away in the estate, fulfilling my responsibilities.
She gave birth to, nurtured, educated, and became the closest companion to our five children. Today, our eldest daughter is already in her second year at university. Raising five children almost single-handedly while her husband was frequently away was never an easy task. Yet she has carried that responsibility faithfully for the past twenty years.
If I have been able to dedicate myself wholeheartedly to my career, it is because of the extraordinary sacrifices my wife has made throughout our journey.
To all young engineers, I sincerely encourage you not to be afraid of starting a family. If you have found the right partner and are ready to accept the responsibility, marriage is one of life's greatest blessings. Our benchmark is Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who married at the age of twenty-five.
Remember, even Prophet Adam (peace be upon him), though created in Paradise, experienced loneliness until Allah created his companion, Hawa (Eve).
Who are we, as men, without a loving wife by our side?
That is my story today.
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