Aiman was only 19, a first-year student at Universiti Sains Malaysia.
He came with big dreams — to excel in his studies, to be liked by everyone, to make his family proud.
But within a few months, something strange began to happen — a tiredness that never seemed to go away.
Tired from constantly trying to change other people’s minds,
tired from fixing other people’s moods,
tired from chasing everyone’s approval,
and tired from preventing anyone from reacting badly.
No matter how hard he tried, someone was always unhappy.
The Dorm Room Test
Aiman lived in a dorm with three roommates — Farid, the critic; Haikal, the hot-headed one; and Zarul, the quiet observer with a sharp tongue.
Whenever there was conflict, Aiman played the “peacekeeper”:
- If Farid sulked because he wasn’t invited for dinner, Aiman comforted him.
- If Haikal got angry about a delayed group project, Aiman apologised, even when it wasn’t his fault.
- If Zarul made sarcastic remarks about exam results, Aiman smiled, even though it stung.
He believed that if he was kind enough, careful enough, and accommodating enough, everyone would like him.
But reality was — the more he tried, the more he lost himself.
A Conversation That Changed Everything
One day after class, his Social Psychology lecturer, Dr. Sofiah, called him over.
“Aiman, I’ve noticed you’re always the first to help others, but sometimes you look drained. Is something bothering you?”
Aiman gave a faint smile. “I just… want everyone to feel comfortable around me, doctor. I don’t like seeing people upset or angry.”
She nodded. “It’s good that you have empathy. But Aiman, you can’t control everyone. You can only control how you show up, what you focus on, what you tolerate, and how you respond. That’s not weakness, that’s emotional maturity.”
Her words felt like a key turning in a locked door inside his mind.
The Turning Point
The following week, during a group discussion, Haikal burst out angrily when a file went missing.
In the past, Aiman would have apologised immediately and taken the blame.
But this time, he took a deep breath and said:
“Haikal, I understand you’re upset. But I’ve kept the file safe. Maybe we should work together to find a solution.”
Haikal went quiet.
For the first time, Aiman didn’t let someone else’s emotions dictate his own.
The Freedom of Letting Go
Day by day, Aiman began releasing burdens that weren’t his to carry:
- He stopped trying to change the minds of those who didn’t want to listen.
- He no longer forced himself to fix the moods of those who chose to stay upset.
- He quit chasing everyone’s approval.
- He stopped fearing people’s reactions when he spoke the truth respectfully.
He realised — he wasn’t responsible for fixing everything.
He was responsible for staying rooted in his own values.
The Ending
A year later, Aiman was calmer. He still helped people, but not at the cost of burning himself out.
He was more focused, more self-trusting, and more at peace.
He finally understood — true freedom begins when you stop trying to control the world and start taking full ownership of yourself.
And on the day of his graduation, Aiman knew…
the smile on his face wasn’t because everyone liked him —
it was because he truly liked himself.
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