9 ways to change people without giving offence

A set of timeless leadership principles that come from Dale Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. These tips describe how great leaders inspire cooperation, respect, and improvement without creating resentment or fear.

Let’s explain each principle clearly:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Before giving feedback or correction, start by sincerely acknowledging what the person has done well.

✅ Why it works: It lowers defensiveness and shows respect. The person feels valued, not attacked.

💬 Example: “You’ve done a great job improving the safety checklist. There’s just one small area we can strengthen.”

2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

Instead of pointing out faults harshly, guide attention gently and constructively.

✅ Why it works: People are more likely to change when they don’t feel humiliated.

💬 Example: “I think the report might have a small error—let’s double-check the numbers together.”

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

Admit your own past errors first. This shows humility and makes others open to feedback.

✅ Why it works: It creates equality instead of hierarchy, building trust.

💬 Example: “I’ve missed deadlines before too, so I know it’s tough. Let’s see how we can manage time better next round.”

4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

Turn commands into questions to involve others in decision-making.

✅ Why it works: It gives people ownership and dignity.

💬 Example: “Do you think we could try sending this report earlier next week?” instead of “Send this report earlier next week.”

5. Let the other person save face

Even if someone made a mistake, protect their dignity in front of others.

✅ Why it works: No one likes public embarrassment. Preserving pride maintains cooperation.

💬 Example: Handle corrections privately and gently: “Let’s talk about how we can improve this next time.”

6. Praise the slightest improvement—and every improvement

Recognize progress, even small steps forward.

✅ Why it works: People crave recognition. Frequent, genuine praise keeps motivation high.

💬 Example: “You’ve been more consistent with updates this week—that’s great progress!”

7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

Tell them you believe in their ability and integrity. This inspires them to rise to that expectation.

✅ Why it works: People tend to act in ways that align with how they’re seen.

💬 Example: “You’ve always been someone who pays attention to detail—I know you’ll get this right.”

8. Use encouragement and make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

Show enthusiasm, appreciation, and faith in the person’s ability to succeed.

✅ Why it works: Encouragement transforms duty into pride and willingness.

💬 Example: “If you take the lead on this, I’m confident it’ll turn out excellent—you’ve got the right skills.”

🌟 In summary:

A great leader doesn’t force change—they inspire it.

By blending praise, humility, empathy, and encouragement, leaders can guide people to improve while making them feel respected, capable, and motivated.

#leader